MARVEL
MOVIES
The Punisher
Dolph Lundgren's Frank Castle must save the kids of crime bosses from the Yakuza in this hyperactive 80's cliché. Whiplash editing & baffling choices can be unintentionally hilarious. Just reaches "so bad it's good" territory. Definitely never boring.
Premiere: Oct 5, 1989
Fantastic Four
An unreleased B-Movie produced by Roger Corman just to keep the rights & still the best F4 film. Shockingly comic accurate, aside from the hilariously bad Jeweler/Mole Man plot. Dr. Doom steals the show with his animated performance. So bad its good.
Premiere: May 31, 1994
Blade
The 1st domino that led to Marvel's domination of Hollywood. Rocked the black glasses and trench coat with Gun Fu Bullet Time before The Matrix. Utterly iconic, from performance to cinematography. Masterful world building, gushing with creative details. Remains ageless.
Premiere: Aug 21, 1998
X-Men
It pushed the genre by pursuing a dark realism, setting the path for adaptations like The Dark Knight. Leans into the allegory of Mutants representing LGBTQ issues, deepening the story to great effect. Though it does feel ashamed of its comics roots at times. Stewart and McKellen are perfectly cast.
Premiere: Jul 13, 2000
Blade II
Guillermo del Toro's the perfect choice, with his dark atmospheric vision & eye for practical creature FX. He masterfully harmonizes tones with the first, even matching the action. My only critique is resurrecting Abraham Whistler without giving him anything to do.
Premiere: Mar 22, 2002
Spider-Man
This is still one of the best super hero origin stories, setting the bar for all who followed. Director Sam Raimi's unique kinetic vision builds on the legacy of the comic films that came before, while confidently capturing the whimsical tone of Lee and Ditko's classic run.
Premiere: May 3, 2002
Daredevil | Director's Cut
A tacky corporate product inline with Schumacher's Batman. Miscast, wasting talent like Michael Clarke Duncan on a caricature of Wilson Fisk. Elektra & Bullseye are among the worst adapted comic characters. The sonar-sense effects are well done.
Premiere: Feb 14, 2003
X2: X-Men United
It opens with the best action sequence in the entire FoX-Men film series. The pacing is all over the place, letting character moments breathe then rushing past important plot points. The focus is almost solely on Wolverine. Mundane villains lead to a disappointing finale.
Premiere: Apr 24, 2003
HULK
Ang Lee defies expectations with a slow burn hard sci-fi psychological drama. The immense FX empower his bold epic vision, making the budget seem limitless. Fully mines the comics of set pieces with gamma mutants, desert army battles & an abstract show stopping climax.
Premiere: Jun 20, 2003
The Punisher | Extended Cut
This Florida FBI take on Frank is built solely out of Hollywood clichés. Killing the extended family is comically dark. Thomas Jane has terrible luck in this regard. His plan is uncharacteristically convoluted. At least The Russian and Harry Heck scenes are great.
Premiere: Apr 16, 2004
Spider-Man 2.1
The best live action Spidey movie. Raimi isn't held back and brings everything he has, including a touch of Evil Dead and Darkman. It offers spectacular action set pieces and the amazing cast bring a lot of heart, which the film isn't afraid to wear on its sleeve.
Premiere: Jun 30, 2004
Blade: Trinity | Extreme Version
Wesley Snipes was difficult on set because he hated director David S. Goyer's script, even forcing them to CG his eyes open. I think I'm on his side. The embarrassing Nightstalkers & white Sumerian Dracula ruined it. The Wu-Tang soundtrack is dope at least.
Premiere: Dec 8, 2004
Elektra | Director's Cut
A slight improvement over Daredevil, trading try-hard & corny for rushed & bland. Targets girls instead of the male gaze while attempting to keep some of the comics edge, resulting in something akin to a CW show. Garner doesn't fit the role.
Premiere: Jan 14, 2005
Fantastic Four | Extended Edition
Chris Evan's Human Torch is the only part that really works. Dr. Doom is reduced to a corporate billionaire like Green Goblin, with scenes ripped right from Spider-Man. Some of the worst cringe put to (comic book)film, like the erotic scene between The Thing and Alicia.
Premiere: Jul 8, 2005
X-Men: The Last Stand
Bryan Singer abandons the film to Brett Ratner who proceeds to directs the franchise right into the ground. It all hinges on Famke Jensen's performance, but she was never the right fit for Jean. Fire FX are costly so Phoenix just pixelates stuff instead. The intimate finale between Jean and Wolverine works atleast.
Premiere: May 26, 2006
Ghost Rider
Nicolas Cage as Ghost Rider is a fever dream come true. The monkey paw catch? It's directed by Daredevil's Mark Steven Johnson. The few unhinged moments we get are doused by a flood of generic Hallmark Halloween TV movie level cheese. Truly a Faustian bargain.
Premiere: Feb 16, 2007
Spider-Man 3 | Editor's Cut
Sam Raimi delivers the best in the genre then is rewarded with obscene studio meddling. The Peter and MJ relationship works as the emotional core of the film but New Goblin and Sandman are sidelined for the Sony mandated Venom, who mixes like oil with water.
Premiere: May 4, 2007
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Doug Jones is perfect and should reprise the role in the MCU, this time without the jarring Fishburne dub. Unfortunately, he deserved a much better film. Weta did their best to save it, even working over time to render the Galactus showdown free of charge.
Premiere: Jun 15, 2007
Punisher: War Zone
The ultra-violent comic accurate reboot fans demanded. Ray Stevenson's muted performance is in contrast to Jigsaw's scenery chewing Italian accent. Takes inspiration from Batman 89. Loony Bin Jim is redundant and only takes away from Jigsaw. All the cops are bad and should have been cut.
Premiere: Dec 5, 2008
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
It can be unintentionally funny, especially the leaked pre-final FX cut. Little improved from there, so I guess they decided to just cut their losses. They bafflingly disgrace Deadpool. Hugh Jackman carelessly recasted Sabretooth with his buddy in the role.
Premiere: Apr 29, 2009
X-Men: First Class
Matthew Vaughn breathes new life into the series with his colourful, kinetic and classy direction. If only he stuck around to direct the sequels. Michael Fassbender steals the show with Magneto's inglorious origin. Kevin Bacon's Sebastian Shaw is superb. And we finally got costumes!
Premiere: Jun 1, 2011
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
Ditches the rom-com angle for edgy b-movie action, swapping the clean design for a look of burnt rubber. Cage is given more to chew, but it's from a bland script. Christopher Lambert briefly appears to basically reprise his Mortal Kombat role.
Premiere: Feb 17, 2012
The Amazing Spider-Man
Sony seemingly chose the director based on his last name. What could go wrong? Unnecessarily retreads the origin story. A studio executive idea of what kids think is cool. Peter's mumbling mannerisms feel forced. Incredibly impressive CGI used on some confounding character designs.
Premiere: Jul 3, 2012
The Wolverine | Unleashed Extended Edition
James Mangold gets the series back on track by mostly ignoring the previous train wreck. The Japan setting and visceral action is exactly what the fans ordered. The extended over-the-top bloody ninja fight delivers, but the big dumb climax feels tacked on.
Premiere: Jul 23, 2013
The Amazing Spider-Man 2
Emma Stone is great as Gwen and Andrew Garfield has grown into the role. Their chemistry really helps sell the pivotal scene. Unfortunately, everything around said scene is bafflingly terrible. Its overstuffed with villains channeling heavy Schumacher Batman energy.
Premiere: Apr 16, 2014
X-Men: Days of Future Past | The Rogue Cut
Bryan Singer is back-in-black(leather), focusing again on Wolverine. Quicksilver is a scene stealer, but could have solved the plot faster than a needle could drop. It resorts to using time travel to clean up their continuity only to somehow make an even bigger mess. It really swings big.
Premiere: May 20, 2014
Fant4stic
A troubled adaptation of the Ultimate Fantastic Four. Its serviceable before the time jump, then becomes offensively bad. The Thing's kill counter, Invisible Woman left out of the mission, Dr. Doom's as an incel wrapped in a garbage bag. There's some fun body horror at least.
Premiere: Aug 6, 2015
Deadpool
The perfect example of what is possible when studios get out of the way. Ryan Reynolds and Wade Wilson complete each other. Getting Tim Miller (the guy behind all the best video game FMVs) to direct was genius. They even pull off a love story thanks to Morena Baccarin.
Premiere: Feb 12, 2016
X-Men: Apocalypse
Bryan Singer overstays his welcome in this Emmerich style disaster. Oscar Isaac's is buried alive under embarrassingly bad makeup. Magneto levels the biggest cities on earth and is immediately forgiven by Professor X again with no consequence, making a joke out of their nuanced friendship.
Premiere: May 18, 2016
Logan
James Mangold's back to undo the X-Men's happy ending for a bleak western swan song for Wolverine. It butchers Professor X, portraying him as senile, bigoted and disgraced. A predictable plot, cliche villains and a messy ending elevated by a talented cast and stunning cinematography.
Premiere: Mar 3, 2017
Deadpool 2 | The Super Duper $@%!#& Cut
It holds up under the weight of an overstuffed sequel, but in doing so becomes the cliché it was satirizing. Cable just feels like another Fox bastardization and fridging Vanessa is asinine. Thankfully, the great action and comedy manage to salvage the mess.
Premiere: May 18, 2018
Venom
A rushed throwback to the dark ages of early 2000s comic movies like Ghost Rider. Tom Hardy's performance is muddled and uncharacteristic. The villain is an obligation devoid of any merit. Feels as if written by its target age demographic. The character design is great though.
Premiere: Oct 5, 2018
Once Upon A Deadpool
A PG-13 Deadpool 2 cut framed around a Princess Bride gag. It's an interesting experiment testing the waters in anticipation of the Disney/Fox merger. While it gives them the unique opportunity to address the flaws of the sequel, it also butchers the pacing and comedic timing.
Premiere: Dec 12, 2018
Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse
It seemed destined to be another overstuffed Sony cash grab, but through unbridled creativity and passion, this brilliant creative team caught cosmic krackle in a bottle by whole heartedly embracing all the elements of animation, comics and Hip-Hop.
Premiere: Dec 12, 2018
X-Men: Dark Phoenix
It opens with Jean getting the Phoenix Force during a space mission, but she used it last time. The decade time jumps between films have caught the cast up to their elder counterparts without any visible ageing. It's all so dumb it hurts. A remake of Last Stand that is somehow even worse.
Premiere: Jun 5, 2019
New Mutants
It simply aims for a Blumhouse style PG-13 horror and somewhat hits the target, but doesn't get anywhere near the comic's potential. The cast could work but they just don't have the material. Anya Taylor-Joy helps offset the blandness with her scenery chewing portrayal of Magik.
Premiere: Aug 26, 2020
Venom: Let There Be Carnage
Andy Serkis' direction salvages the franchise by confidently owning the goofy tone, adding surprising depth to the character dynamics and cleaning up the action. The Carnage role was made for Woody Harrelson. Tom Hardy's mumbling performance holds it back.
Premiere: Sep 30, 2021
Morbius
Sony clearly hasn't learned anything over their 20 years of making comic movies. They are just feeding off any vitality they can get from the MCU. You can feel chunks bitten out in editing and the FX team desperately trying to revive the action in post with particles and motion blur.
Premiere: Mar 30, 2022
Chip 'N Dale: Rescue Rangers
A meta nostalgia crossover-load attempt at a modern Roger Rabbit. Samberg & Mulaney are dragged & dropped into the roles with little care beyond cultural osmosis. Obscure gag cameos, like Tigra from Avengers: United They Stand, are the highlight.
Premiere: May 20, 2022
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
They did it again. The exponential growth of the animation has hit the point of singularity. It's creatively all-encompassing before the jarring crash back to reality that is the cliffhanger. Flawless outside of a few grubby Sony fingerprints.
Premiere: Jun 2, 2023
Madame Web
These Spider-Man spinoffs remain stuck in the dark ages of comic movies, so the early 2000's setting fits. The young cast have chemistry and their costumes look great, but that's about all that works. Dakota Johnson was a mistake, but the embarrassment should be on Sony Pictures.
Premiere: Feb 14, 2024
The Spider Within: A Spider-Verse Story
A nice tease to commemorate the initial release date of Beyond The Spider-Verse. I find shorts like these work best as appetizers before animated films, but with no date in sight I'll take what I can get. What a week for horror themed animated Marvel projects.
Premiere: Mar 27, 2024
Venom: The Last Dance
It's technically better than Let There Be Carnage, but is no longer so bad it's good. It's the type of trilogy closer that literally throws the franchise in the wood chipper before turning the lights out. The highlight again is the CZARFACE banger on the soundtrack.
Premiere: Oct 25 2024
